Hey, it's been 4 months since my last update. Me being here again shows that it's not a good sign and life has been a hassle again. I'm gonna make this post really really long because I'm going to express everything I feel about this recent events that happened to me.
First event: Iftar at my house
It's fasting month. Which also happens to be school holiday. I invited my crush and the rest of my classmates to my house for iftar. I expected few to come yet my classmates did not disappoint. Many people came and brought foods with them to fill our empty stomachs. My crush also came.. I felt attacked for real. So as he was filling his empty plate with variety of foods, my dad came downstairs to greet my friends. All my guy friends salam-ed my dad and my crush started a conversation with my dad! He told my dad that his father knew him and he sent his regard to my dad. Dad asked for his dad's name and he answered. Unfortunately, dad didn't recall having a staff with the same name as his dad so he took a long time trying to recollect his thoughts. At the end of the night, dad asked for my crush's dad's picture and my crush showed it to him. Dad finally able to remember his dad and I was relieved (idek for what reason). I didn't know his dad and mine works in the same company!
Second event: Maths' Paper
So midterm ended 3 weeks ago and teachers are starting to give back our papers. I received my math paper 3 days ago and there was this one question that my teacher marked wrong but my answer was supposed to be correct. But it was understandable because my answer wasn't that clear and visible for the teacher to see it. If you're curious about which question it was, (assuming that you're my schoolmates SMKBTHO2); check form 5's midterm exam's math paper 2017; page 5 no.1 b. I made a dotted line but the grid was too thick, making my dotted line seemed like a straight line. I debated with the teacher (basically begging for her to give me marks) and the teacher decided to ask the twins in my class. One of them is my crush duh. I have a crush on twin A, not twin B. Both of them looked at my paper and I begged them to say yes. Twin B immediately shook his head and said no (ugh mean). Twin A asked for the paper to get a closer look and after looking at it for a while, he said yes. I felt indebted to him. The teacher decided to give me the marks, fortunately.
Third event: Chemistry
I was walking inside the teachers' room to search for my addmath teacher. When I was on my way, I bumped into twin A and a guy friend of mine. The guy friend told me that our chemistry's teacher only had marked 2 papers and the papers belonged to me and twin A! Coincidence? I think not(eheheh jk). That's basically it tbh lol.
Fourth event: Iftar at Cikgu Bro's
Twins and I go to the same tuition centre. Our tuition centre held an event. Twins, me and the girl who admires twins (let's call her T) came to attend the event. I was in a good mood until suddenly I heard T calling twin A to snap a pic together. Twin A agreed (not surprised there) and they took a pic together. He looked really cool that night and I envy her a lot. My friends encouraged me to take a pic with him too but I refused since I didn't wanna look desperate. I was an emotional mess so I decided to go home early. I was sad throughout the night. After I got home, I went to bed and immediately sleep welcomed me. Today, I went to school and met twins again but I still feel depressed about last night so I was bitter throughout the day. I didn't have the mood to talk and eat. I cried at school to vent out all my frustrations. A friend of mine told me that she doesn't think I like twin A. She thinks I LOVE him. Love is a strong word and I don't think I'm ready for love. But no matter how much I try to deny, I also have a feeling that what I'm currently feeling right now is called 'love'.
Note: I'm actually scared. I don't wanna fall in love again after experiencing heartbreak with my first love in 2013. It made me become severely depressed and I even had to see a specialist. Self-preservation is extremely important! :(
No comments:
Post a Comment